Umami Mart food blog
:: Mar 13, 12:19 PM

This is a blog all about food brought to you by Kayoko, myself and a handful of other food enthusiasts scattered about the US and me in Tokyo.

http://umamimart.blogspot.com/

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1481. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

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1482. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, ‘Don’t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ I said ‘I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too’.

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1483. I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

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1484. A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn’t have an air force.

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1485. The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

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1486. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

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1487. It’s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

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1488. If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

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1489. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

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1490. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.

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1491. Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

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1492. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

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1493. When I am dead, I hope it may be said: ‘His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

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1494. In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me – and by that time no one was left to speak up.

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1495. Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

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1496. To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

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1497. If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

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1498. I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change

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1499. I was playing poker the other night… with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

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1500. One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.

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1501. Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.

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1502. When I die I’m going to leave my body to science fiction.

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1503. If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

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1504. Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

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1505. A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

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1506. You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

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1507. There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

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1508. There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

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1509. My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

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1510. Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

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1511. A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it’s good it’s wonderful, and when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.

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1512. Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.

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1513. I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.

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1514. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

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1515. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

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1516. Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

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1517. Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

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1518. The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ – the pig was ‘committed’.

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1519. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

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1520. O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

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1521. I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It’s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

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1522. It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

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1523. When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

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1524. For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

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1525. Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

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1526. Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.

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1527. Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions – it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

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1528. The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

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1529. ‘Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible’, she said, ‘but that alone doesn’t make it true.’

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1530. No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

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1531. I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

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1532. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

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1533. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…

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1534. Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

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1535. The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

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1536. I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

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1537. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

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1538. Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

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1539. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

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1540. It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

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1541. Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.

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1542. If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

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1543. Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

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1550. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.

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1551. Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

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1552. A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.

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1553. I criticize by creation – not by finding fault.

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1554. My last cow just died, so I won’t need your bull anymore.

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1558. Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

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1559. If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

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1560. My last cow just died, so I won’t need your bull anymore.

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1563. I think ‘Hail to the Chief’ has a nice ring to it.

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1564. If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.

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1565. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’ ‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.’

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1566. If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.

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1567. I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

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1568. I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

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1569. Finagle’s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will—at the worst possible moment.

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1574. The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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1575. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

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1577. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…

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1578. Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

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1579. Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, ‘cause if they couldn’t, they’d have to wake up to the fact that life’s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot—and the only reason THEY can’t seem to keep up is they’re a bunch of misfits and losers.

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1580. Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

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1581. Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called ‘Ego’.

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1582. If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn’t.

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1583. If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

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1584. It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

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1585. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

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1586. I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It’s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

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1587. Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

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1588. Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

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1589. Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

      —